I'll tell you about my Mom. not mom. ok. I'll just call her 'Monster'.
So, I HATE my MONSTER now.
She is always angry to me. She is always rude. She is always be HER.
And last, She will never be my mom.
I hate songs about Mother.
Mother? that word seems doesn't exist in my life.
My mother is my hell.
My mother is my pain.
My mother is my sorrow.
My mother is my anger.
My mother is a stranger.
-Alma Kartson
I don't even believe she born me. I don't even believe I have a mother like her.
I don't even believe God gives me this fate.
It's like you'll pretend to be alone forever. or not to be born.
than you're having a mother like you're feeding a monster.
predator.
you won't believe me I hate her so much.
I hate her more than you deserve.
I won't believe that this is my fate. My fate to be with a monster. A mother fucker.
I'm not hers. I'm my God's.
Who demands you to have a daughter like me?
Who wants to be your daughter?
It's like you wish you had a time machine. A time machine to stop the time. Just to be alone, for seconds, or minutes, better if days.
Just to think that I have to prove this life. This is the life My God had given me. The life My God had trusted me to have.
Yeah, maybe God trusted me. Trusted me that I could stand on this fate.
Sometimes I think that I might have a better mother. But I HAD to live this life. With all the energy I have. I'll show my God, that I can live this world.
That's why until now, I still give a fake smile to my mother, that's why I still give a fake love to my mother. Because I know. I'm not belong to her. I'm belong to my God.
Sincerely,
Alma
